July 2016

 

The Imposter Syndrome

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in lgbt

When you were a little kid, didn’t you look at all the hard-working grownups all around you and think, “Wow, they’re so good. I hope I can be like them some day.” And then, as an adult, you look around you and think, “Wow, we’re…

Same-Sex Divorce: How to Prevent It

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in lgbt

It’s easy to be excited about same-sex marriage. After all, we worked long and hard to make it happen. And, yes, we deserve to feel good about it. However, let’s look at what happens when same-sex marriage doesn’t go so well: same-sex divorce: Why do couples…

What To Do When You’re Not Young And Cute Anymore

Posted by Michael Kimmel in lgbt

I often hear – from my mid-life clients – something like this:  “The singles world is all about hot guys/girls in their 20’s and 30’s.  I feel old, ugly and jealous…what happens when I’m not young and cute anymore?” For many of us, from our mid-40’s onward,…

Don’t Lose Yourself in a Relationship

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in lgbt

Often, when I counsel newly-married couples, I hear a familiar lament: “I feel like I’ve lost myself since I got married” or “After moving in with my partner, I feel like I’ve merged with them so much that I don’t know who I am anymore”….

Stuck in the (Bisexual) Closet

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in lgbt

Dear Michael:  I am a closet bisexual. I have been with a terrific guy for about 10 years’ now. We have a great sex life and a good life together. But, I have never been with another woman sexually and I want to experience that….

Should I stay or should I go?

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in Columns

Often clients ask me, “Should I stay with my partner or should I go?” This is obviously not a question I can answer for them, so I help them look at the big picture – their expectations, the reality of their relationship, their old patterns…

Recommendations

Posted by Michael Kimmel in Columns

For quite some time now, I have been recommending local health care professionals to my San Diego clients. I would now like to make those recommendations available here. These are my own personal recommendations and, no, I don’t get any referral fees if you choose…

Competition in Same-Sex Couples

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in lgbt

Have you ever noticed how much competition there is in same sex couples?  It’s just beneath the surface, and something I see a lot as a psychotherapist to the San Diego LGBT community. It seems easier for opposite sex couples to not compete. Perhaps it’s because…

It’s Not the Alcohol; it’s You

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in Columns

Dear Michael: I have been with my partner for several years’ now. Our sex life isn’t great, but everything else is good. Last week, I was out of town for work, went to a bar and, after too many drinks, ended up going home with…

Becoming More Resilient

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in Columns

The same bad thing can happen to two people: one gets really down and depressed for a few days/weeks, the other bounces back to “normal“ within a few hours. What’s the difference? When I worked for Child Protective Services, we talked about “resilient children” and…