December 2016

 

A Numb New Year?

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in Columns

Why do we numb ourselves? What is it we don’t want to feel? Is it so bad to “take the edge off”? Of course not, but how do you get there? Do you need something external (drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping) to make you feel better,...

Your own worst enemy

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in lgbt

Are you a jealous person? What makes you jealous? Jealousy is a form of self-sabotage. It rarely helps you get what you want. Jealousy usually is a sign that something is “off” in you. Not necessarily in others; but in you. Sure, you may have reasons to...

“I Hate the Holidays”

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in lgbt

A recent email I got sums up many people’s attitude towards this time of year:  Dear Doctor Kimmel: I hate the Holidays! People are so fake and everyone competes with each other for the best gifts, best parties, best tree decorations, etc. What can I do to...

Psychological Santa to the Rescue!

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in Columns

For lots of people, December is the month from hell: this time of year often brings crazy-scary sets of expectations and dread. We are bombarded with media images encouraging us to buy stuff and to be happy…and if we don’t, we’re failures. This is a...

How to Escape the Trap of Perfectionism

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in Columns

Do you feel like you’re always judging/critiquing/ evaluating yourself? Are you afraid to do something you may not be good at? Are you afraid to take risks? Congratulations! You’re probably a perfectionist. The good news: perfectionists are made, not born. It is a learned set of...

Psychological Santa to the Rescue!

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in Columns

For lots of people, December is the month from hell: this time of year often brings crazy-scary sets of expectations and dread. We are bombarded with media images encouraging us to buy stuff and to be happy…and if we don’t, we’re failures. This is a...

Sigmund goes to Palm Springs

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in lgbt

For many of us LGBT San Diegans, winter and spring are the perfect times to go to Palm Springs: the weather is great and it's just far enough away to feel like we’ve had an adventure. I was thinking recently of what it would be like...

12 Steps for the Rest of Us

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in Columns, lgbt

While I am not a member of a 12 step program, I find the 12 steps are useful for anyone struggling with an addictiion. In reality, most of us have some kind of addictive or compulsive behavior that interferes with our happiness. In his book “Spirituality...

The Trans Community and Me

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in lgbt

For several years, people have asked me to write a column about the transgender (aka "trans") community. As a cis male, I deferred. Instead, I asked trans friends to write something, but, no dice. Last week, a trans client said, “Why don’t you write a...