July 2016

 

The Imposter Syndrome

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in lgbt

When you were a little kid, didn’t you look at all the hard-working grownups all around you and think, “Wow, they’re so good. I hope I can be like them some day.” And then, as an adult, you look around you and think, “Wow, we’re...

Same-Sex Divorce: How to Prevent It

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in lgbt

It's easy to be excited about same-sex marriage. After all, we worked long and hard to make it happen. And, yes, we deserve to feel good about it. However, let’s look at what happens when same-sex marriage doesn’t go so well: same-sex divorce: Why do couples divorce? What...

What To Do When You’re Not Young And Cute Anymore

Posted by Michael Kimmel in lgbt

I often hear - from my mid-life clients - something like this:  “The singles world is all about hot guys/girls in their 20’s and 30’s.  I feel old, ugly and jealous…what happens when I’m not young and cute anymore?” For many of us, from our mid-40’s onward, our...

Don’t Lose Yourself in a Relationship

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in lgbt

Often, when I counsel newly-married couples, I hear a familiar lament: “I feel like I’ve lost myself since I got married” or “After moving in with my partner, I feel like I’ve merged with them so much that I don’t know who I am anymore”. You...

Stuck in the (Bisexual) Closet

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in lgbt

Dear Michael:  I am a closet bisexual. I have been with a terrific guy for about 10 years’ now. We have a great sex life and a good life together. But, I have never been with another woman sexually and I want to experience that. So,...

Should I stay or should I go?

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in Columns

Often clients ask me, “Should I stay with my partner or should I go?” This is obviously not a question I can answer for them, so I help them look at the big picture - their expectations, the reality of their relationship, their old patterns...

Recommendations

Posted by Michael Kimmel in Columns

For quite some time now, I have been recommending local health care professionals to my San Diego clients. I would now like to make those recommendations available here. These are my own personal recommendations and, no, I don't get any referral fees if you choose to...

Competition in Same-Sex Couples

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in lgbt

Have you ever noticed how much competition there is in same sex couples?  It’s just beneath the surface, and something I see a lot as a psychotherapist to the San Diego LGBT community. It seems easier for opposite sex couples to not compete. Perhaps it’s because they...

It’s Not the Alcohol; it’s You

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in Columns

Dear Michael: I have been with my partner for several years’ now. Our sex life isn’t great, but everything else is good. Last week, I was out of town for work, went to a bar and, after too many drinks, ended up going home with this...

Becoming More Resilient

Posted by Michael Dale Kimmel in Columns

The same bad thing can happen to two people: one gets really down and depressed for a few days/weeks, the other bounces back to “normal“ within a few hours. What’s the difference? When I worked for Child Protective Services, we talked about “resilient children” and how...