Michael Dale Kimmel – www.lifebeyondtherapy | Columns - Michael Dale Kimmel - www.lifebeyondtherapy
San Diego-based, California-licensed psychotherapist, assisting clients in achieving their goals and becoming the men and women they want to be.
San Diego Therapist, California-licensed psychotherapist,
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What’s on your back burner?

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Some of us are used to living in an ongoing state of crisis; we don’t know what it’s like to have a calm, peaceful life. And when we begin to feel more peaceful, it can actually be scary. We’re not used to it; it makes…

“Why am I still alone?”

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Dear Michael: I read you all the time in Gay San Diego and I usually like what you have to say, so I decided to ask you the question that, after much soul-searching, I cannot answer: why am I still alone? I am a 44-year-old gay…

Halloween Every Day

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Now that Halloween is over, have you ever wondered why people like it so much?   We get to dress up in costumes. We get to try on other personalities. We get to be playful and creative.   Why not do this every day? Why…

Friendship and Romance

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How do you grow a friendship? How do you encourage a brand-new romance? Are the basic underlying principles the same for both, or not? Some people – looking for love – want to skip the friendship phase of getting to know someone and go right…

Molecular Reorganization

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In college, I avoided science courses as much as possible. They seemed so hard and not very relevant to my goal of becoming a psychotherapist. I stuck to psychology, sociology and counseling classes, whenever possible (there was that “Probability and Statistics” class I had to…

Lower the Wall

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So many of us feel lonely: we spend countless hours on Instagram or other social media trying to feel connected, like we matter to someone. And yet, with “real” people, we put up walls to keep them at a distance so that they can’t hurt…

I want to be wild!

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A few weeks’ ago, a well-adjusted bisexual guy came into my office. He was handsome, smart, successful and quite happy with his life. So, I was a bit surprised when, out of the blue, he burst out with: “I want to be wild!” It certainly…

You are the Cake

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If you’re single: do you ever feel lonely and wish that someone wonderful would love you? If you’re coupled: do you ever feel lonely and wish that someone more wonderful would love you? If either of these scenarios is true for you, dear reader, you’ve forgotten…

How to be Alone

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I have lived alone many times, in many places, e.g.; Dayton, Ohio; Louisville, Kentucky; Paris, London, New York City and San Francisco. I have also lived with many other people (not simultaneously) in places like New Haven, Connecticut; Panorama City, California; Yonkers, New York; Bath;…

An Intimacy Tune-Up

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People use the term “intimacy” very loosely, but, what exactly is it? The meaning of intimacy varies from relationship to relationship. To me, it has to do with feeling a connection with another person. It requires empathy: the ability to stand in another person’s shoes….