What happens when you meet someone through a sexual experience and then discover that there might be more…much more. How do you turn sex into love? Or can you? As a psychotherapist, I encourage my clients to see a good relationship as a marriage (pun…
Lots of people make New Year’s Resolutions. I don’t recommend them. Usually, they are impossible to keep and make us feel worse about ourselves when we “break” them. Instead, why not ask yourself: What is it I really want in the coming year? For many…
Dear Michael: I don’t seem to be very good at making – or keeping – friends. I’m kind of a loner and always have been, but I’d like a friend to hang around with, especially at this time of year. I’ve not been a very…
Recently, I was asked to co-facilitate a workshop with the above title. I wasn’t sure I really wanted to do it. After all, I thought, what’s so great about silence? So, I did some research and was surprised at what I found. I discovered that…
Over the years, I’ve been compiling a list of ways to lower stress. These are personal observations, great ideas from other people and tips I’ve gained from colleagues at professional conferences. My list is pretty long: it has over 70 items! So I’ve narrowed it…
It’s so hard not to compare ourselves to other people. No matter how hard we try, somebody else always seems to have a better life than we do, a better partner, job, car, home or body. This comparison thing also extends to sex. We imagine…
Consider these phrases: “Middle Aged”. “Over the Hill”. “Past Your Prime”. Do they inspire you to live a long, healthy and happy life? Me neither. I love the slogan of the organization Aging as Ourselves: “Age doesn’t define me; my attitude does.” Sounds good, doesn’t it?…
Self-Esteem is a phrase that you hear a lot in the media. I’d like to talk a bit about what self-esteem is and how you can improve yours. When I worked for Kaiser-Permanente Psychiatry and Addiction Medicine, I facilitated the “Healthy Relationships Support Group” (which…
As a psychotherapist, over the years’ I’ve heard many people say that they don’t have enough of the good things in life. This column looks at a few of the things that I think really matter: Fun: Enjoyment, amusement and pleasure…that’s a good definition of…
The current New Yorker features an article analyzing the work and career of Joan Didion, a writer whose work and life I admire: a writer who has inspired me since reading her essay collection “Slouching Towards Bethlehem” in the 1970’s. This article starts off as a…
