Over the years, I’ve been compiling a list of ways to lower stress. These are personal observations, great ideas from other people and tips I’ve gained from colleagues at professional conferences. My list is pretty long: it has over 70 items! So I’ve narrowed it…
It’s so hard not to compare ourselves to other people. No matter how hard we try, somebody else always seems to have a better life than we do, a better partner, job, car, home or body. This comparison thing also extends to sex. We imagine…
Consider these phrases: “Middle Aged”. “Over the Hill”. “Past Your Prime”. Do they inspire you to live a long, healthy and happy life? Me neither. I love the slogan of the organization Aging as Ourselves: “Age doesn’t define me; my attitude does.” Sounds good, doesn’t it?…
Self-Esteem is a phrase that you hear a lot in the media. I’d like to talk a bit about what self-esteem is and how you can improve yours. When I worked for Kaiser-Permanente Psychiatry and Addiction Medicine, I facilitated the “Healthy Relationships Support Group” (which…
As a psychotherapist, over the years’ I’ve heard many people say that they don’t have enough of the good things in life. This column looks at a few of the things that I think really matter: Fun: Enjoyment, amusement and pleasure…that’s a good definition of…
The current New Yorker features an article analyzing the work and career of Joan Didion, a writer whose work and life I admire: a writer who has inspired me since reading her essay collection “Slouching Towards Bethlehem” in the 1970’s. This article starts off as a…
This is a great article by one of my favorite writers. In The New York Times, Ms. Browning writes about how once she hit 60, all kinds of things began to change for her. She began to stop the self-criticism that she’d endured for most…
As a psychotherapist, clients often ask me: “Why is it so hard to change?” We know what we want, we know who we want to be, and yet, it’s so hard to stop being the way we are and become this new person with healthier…
If you listen to any kind of psychological advice show – from Dr. Phil to Dr. Drew – you’ll hear the therapist talking about “healthy boundaries”. A boundary is a marker, a dividing line. It tells me where my property stops and yours starts. Psychologically, it…
When I lived in Los Angeles, I used to volunteer for my church. On many Sunday afternoons, I would join a group of men and women who went downtown and fed hungry people. It wasn’t glamorous work: there are no photographers taking our pictures and…
