Why I Love Cowboys

I love cowboys because they: are steady and sweet, keep their cards close to their chests, only open up when they know you’re trustworthy, are solid and low-key in their loving (platonic and romantic), know a lot about animals and how to care for them, are respectful to others, specially...

Why is Everyone So Anxious?

Have you noticed how anxious, worried and edgy most people are lately? Have you experienced these feelings yourself? If so, you can relax: you’re “normal” (that’s not a word I often use, but sometimes it’s useful).  These are difficult times: I am 66 years old and...

How Much Sex Should I Be Having?

I’ve been a psychotherapist for about twenty years; before that I was a middle school counselor in San Francisco, preschool teacher in the Bronx, social worker for terminally ill children and their families at San Diego Hospice, helped parents regain custody of their kids for...

Have More Love

It’s a new year. Most of us want some things to change. We’d like more money, a better job, our partner to drop their annoying habits, our boss to be nicer, our car to be newer…that kind of stuff. But, bottom line, don’t most of us...

Surprise! I was Wrong.

When I wrote the initial proposal for my book, it was called “The Queer Person’s Guide to Love, Monogamy and Open Relationships” and it addressed monogamy and open relationships in the LGBTQ community). After reading the proposal, my agent said, “You need to focus more specifically...

This year: Do It Differently

Are you a “Happy Holidays!” or “Bah, Humbug!” person? For many of us, the holidays bring crazy-making expectations. We’re bombarded with media images encouraging us to buy stuff (with our credit cards, of course), go to parties and events (or be alone, which may feel even...

How to Balance your Heart, Mind and Genitals

Romance. Sex. Intimacy. Hooking up. Hanging out. Do I have your attention? As men-who-love-men, we want all things from all men. We want hot sex, emotional intimacy, a great, loyal friend and a handy man who can help us fix our car/house/life. In short, we want to...

How to Feel Less Anxious

It’s pretty easy to feel anxious these days, especially with climate change, attacks on LGBTQ rights and a government led by someone as mentally unstable as Donald Trump. After suffering from panic attacks myself – and helping my clients with anxiety/worry/fears/ phobias - here are some...

Are You Ready for Marriage?

Choosing a partner is one of most important decisions any of us will ever make. It determines the harmony – or lack of it – that we will experience in every area of our lives. Unfortunately, the statistics (based on predominantly heterosexual marriages) do not paint...

What is Community?

When Gay San Diego was for sale, I wondered “What will happen to the Gay San Diego community if the paper goes under?” Luckily, Terry Sidie bought the paper and it has been renamed/revitalized/ relaunched. It’s hard to keep a paper going in these online/social media-saturated times....