You are the Cake

If you’re single: do you ever feel lonely and wish that someone wonderful would love you? If you’re coupled: do you ever feel lonely and wish that someone more wonderful would love you? If either of these scenarios is true for you, dear reader, you’ve forgotten that you are...

The Marvels of Midlife

When I was 20, I thought that my sex life would be over at 40. When I was 30, I thought that my best years were behind me and I’d better find “Mr. Right” and settle down…and fast! At 40, I thought that I was...

Look for the Helpers

This is not the column I had planned to write. But, this week I’ve been very inspired by two experiences: The terrific LGBT Exhibit at the San Diego History Center and the powerful documentary on Children’s TV star Mr. Rogers: “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?”. What’s...

Pride 2018: “A moment of great urgency”

Recently, speaking here in Southern California, former President Obama said, "This is a moment of great urgency. You are right to be concerned. The progress we have made is not a given." These are scary times. As a psychotherapist, I keep waiting for the anxiety to...

How to be Alone

I have lived alone many times, in many places, e.g.; Dayton, Ohio; Louisville, Kentucky; Paris, London, New York City and San Francisco. I have also lived with many other people (not simultaneously) in places like New Haven, Connecticut; Panorama City, California; Yonkers, New York; Bath;...

An Intimacy Tune-Up

People use the term “intimacy” very loosely, but, what exactly is it? The meaning of intimacy varies from relationship to relationship. To me, it has to do with feeling a connection with another person. It requires empathy: the ability to stand in another person’s shoes. Intimacy is...

How’s Your Sex Life?

Sex is great right? Lots of fun. Easy, no problems. Always available when you want it. Your libido is strong and will do whatever you want whenever you want. You can have great sex several times a day with any number of hot men and/or...

Healthy Anger

I often ask clients: “What do you do with your anger?” Some people are surprised by that: they’ve never really thought about it. Let’s think about it now. Healthy anger is normal and okay; it’s not a bad thing and it doesn’t mean you’re out of control....