For lots of people, December is the month from hell: this time of year often brings crazy-scary sets of expectations and dread. We are bombarded with media images encouraging us to buy stuff and to be happy…and if we don’t, we’re failures. This is a…
While I am not a member of a 12 step program, I find the 12 steps are useful for anyone struggling with an addictiion. In reality, most of us have some kind of addictive or compulsive behavior that interferes with our happiness. In his book…
This is not the column I expected to write this week. I did not expect to awaken with dread the morning after the recent election. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I didn’t want to face a world where Donald Trump was the…
In the world of psychology, PTSD – post-traumatic stress disorder – is how doctors describe the experience of recovering from trauma. This term was created in1980 and was used to describe soldiers coming back from war: these men and women had often killed people and…
Yesterday, a client told me, “I’m so angry about how my boss treated me”. I asked him, “So, what did you do with your anger?” He said, “I yelled at some people I work with. Tomorrow, I need to apologize to them.” We all get…
There is no way to avoid major changes/upsets in our lives. No matter how carefully we plan, the Universe has a mind of its own. As a friend of mine says, “Just when you think things are going well, life pulls the rug out from…
How can you bring spirituality and humor to dating? Or, as one writer so aptly put it: What if the Buddha dated? How would he handle getting to know someone? How would he bring spirituality and “enlightenment” to the process? Although as far as I…
There’s a word in Buddhism – Muditā – that means “celebrating the success of others”. The first time I heard it, at a meditation retreat in Northern California, I wondered “Why is the teacher talking about this? What does this have to do with feeling…
A big part of mental health is having a healthy sex life, but, for some reason, our sexual selves are often left out of any discussion about our mental and physical health. Maybe it’s because it makes some doctors or therapists – or us –…
Dear Michael: I write to you because you are becoming the “Dear Abby” of San Diego! I am having a problem with my ex-husband. When I left him for another man, he was really angry about it. Now, nine years’ later, he still is furious with me. …
