Panic Attacks, PTSD and Me

When clients ask me, “Why did you become a therapist?”, my usual response is: “If you knew my childhood history, you’d understand.” According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in five Americans has been sexually molested as a child; one in four was...

Have an Adventure!

Does your life feel too boring and predictable? Maybe you need to have an adventure: if you have a little time and a bit of money, that’s all you need. People think that you need to spend a lot of money to go away on...

The Adam Rippon Effect

I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how the media and most of America have embraced openly – no, defiantly – gay figure skater Adam Rippon. He’s a smart, funny, handsome proud gay man who embraces his inner “bitch” (his words) and isn’t afraid to tell it....

Why I’ve Stopped Drinking

It’s probably not what you think: I don’t have a problem with drinking. Before I stopped, I rarely had more than two drinks at any occasion, and I often didn’t drink anything alcoholic for a week or two. So why have I stopped then? Years’ ago,...

Falling Upward

When you left your teenage years and entered your twenties, did you ever feel that you were falling apart? If so, you’re not alone. It’s also true for those of us in our thirties, forties and upwards. Most of us head into “grown-up” life with...

Whose life are you living?

The longer I work as a psychotherapist, the more amazed I am at how we all – myself included – keep doing things that make us unhappy. Call it a pattern or a habit, whatever you call it, we keep repeating behaviors and thoughts that...

The Art of Loving

Some subjects are timeless, like love. Many self-help gurus say stuff like, “You can’t love anyone else if you don’t love yourself.” Sounds good, but, what does that mean? Loving yourself is a process, it doesn’t happen overnight. It progresses – in stops and starts –...

The new PTSD: President Trump Stress Disorder

Traditionally, PTSD has stood for “post traumatic stress disorder”. It describes how we may have to tough it out to get through something traumatic (war, rape, bodily harm) and then, when it’s over, we typically “collapse” into a big, ole mess. In this after-the-trauma-is-over phase,...

The Pros and Cons of Older/Younger Relationships

In my psychotherapy practice, I often assist lesbian couples where one of the women is significantly older than her partner. Last month, one of these women asked me: “Why don’t you write a column about age differences in lesbian relationships and how to handle them?” Yesterday,...

The Psychology of being Sick

Does this sound familiar? You don’t feel well. Sure enough you’ve got a cold/the flu and your body feels like crap. You’re sick. Your mental state begins to suffer too. You grow increasingly pessimistic, wonder if you’ll ever get over this “thing”, start to watch your...