Michael Dale Kimmel – www.lifebeyondtherapy | LGBT - Michael Dale Kimmel - www.lifebeyondtherapy
San Diego-based, California-licensed psychotherapist, assisting clients in achieving their goals and becoming the men and women they want to be.
San Diego Therapist, California-licensed psychotherapist,
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The Best Little Boy in the World

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In a recently published study, Drs. John Pachankis and Mark Hatzenbuehler have substantiated what’s called the “Best Little Boy in the World” syndrome (from the 1973 book by Andrew Tobias). It’s the idea that young, closeted men deflect attention from their sexuality by overinvesting their…

Creative LGBT Parenting and Step-Parenting

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Dear Michael: We are two formerly happy and carefree lesbians.  Last month, my partner’s ex-husband essentially gave us custody of their three kids. They’ve visited us off-and-on for the past six years we’ve been together, but the kids have lived most of their lives with their…

Beyond Prince Charming

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For centuries, we’ve been taught to believe in the “Prince Charming” myth: a hero or heroine who will some day come along and sweep us off our feet.  This amazing person will not only be gorgeous and  strong but will want to take care of us forever.  Straight,…

Using Sex as a Boyfriend Screening Tool

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Dear Michael: I have a dilemma.  I am looking for a boyfriend, but not too seriously.  I am enjoying great sex a lot of the time and meet most of these guys on-line.  I think that having sex with a guy is a good way to “screen him”…

The Power of Growing Up

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I see several teenagers in my private practice, and here is a (slightly modified) quote from a 14-year-old boy with a single, gay dad: I get along with my dad pretty well, but he wears clothes that are appropriate for guys my age — and…

Pride is Great: What’s Next?

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Pride is good, great stuff.  For so long the LGBT community suffered from the opposite of pride: shame.  We can congratulate ourselves on finding our pride and making it strong and solid. So now what? Out of curiosity, I Googled “pride” and was reminded that it is…

Good Boys and Bad Boys

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Recently, I’ve seen quite a few of my male clients who find that their balance is off.  The balance I am talking about the balance between excitement and safety, unpredictability and predictability…between being a “Good Boy” and a “Bad Boy”. As men – no matter how…

A psychological look at HIV

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I am sometimes asked to help facilitate workshops for people who are HIV-positive (HIV+).  As an HIV-negative (HIV-)  person, I consider this quite an honor…and I have learned A LOT in doing so. I’ve learned that, for many people, an HIV+ diagnosis feels like your world is…

Nice guys bore me

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Dear Michael: I feel like a stereotype, but it’s true: I only want men I can’t have, and then when I get them (which I usually do), I don’t want them anymore. Nice guys bore me, and I end up alone most of the time….