Michael Dale Kimmel – www.lifebeyondtherapy | LGBT - Michael Dale Kimmel - www.lifebeyondtherapy
San Diego-based, California-licensed psychotherapist, assisting clients in achieving their goals and becoming the men and women they want to be.
San Diego Therapist, California-licensed psychotherapist,
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Beyond Prince Charming

Posted by in lgbt

For centuries, we’ve been taught to believe in the “Prince Charming” myth: a hero or heroine who will some day come along and sweep us off our feet.  This amazing person will not only be gorgeous and  strong but will want to take care of us forever.  Straight,…

Using Sex as a Boyfriend Screening Tool

Posted by in lgbt

Dear Michael: I have a dilemma.  I am looking for a boyfriend, but not too seriously.  I am enjoying great sex a lot of the time and meet most of these guys on-line.  I think that having sex with a guy is a good way to “screen him”…

The Power of Growing Up

Posted by in lgbt

I see several teenagers in my private practice, and here is a (slightly modified) quote from a 14-year-old boy with a single, gay dad: I get along with my dad pretty well, but he wears clothes that are appropriate for guys my age — and…

Pride is Great: What’s Next?

Posted by in lgbt

Pride is good, great stuff.  For so long the LGBT community suffered from the opposite of pride: shame.  We can congratulate ourselves on finding our pride and making it strong and solid. So now what? Out of curiosity, I Googled “pride” and was reminded that it is…

Good Boys and Bad Boys

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Recently, I’ve seen quite a few of my male clients who find that their balance is off.  The balance I am talking about the balance between excitement and safety, unpredictability and predictability…between being a “Good Boy” and a “Bad Boy”. As men – no matter how…

A psychological look at HIV

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I am sometimes asked to help facilitate workshops for people who are HIV-positive (HIV+).  As an HIV-negative (HIV-)  person, I consider this quite an honor…and I have learned A LOT in doing so. I’ve learned that, for many people, an HIV+ diagnosis feels like your world is…

Nice guys bore me

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Dear Michael: I feel like a stereotype, but it’s true: I only want men I can’t have, and then when I get them (which I usually do), I don’t want them anymore. Nice guys bore me, and I end up alone most of the time….

I just want to be normal

Posted by in lgbt

Recently, I was shocked to hear a new client tell me, “I don’t want to be gay, I want to be normal.”  I have heard other clients say things like: “Gay men are such a mess, I just want a normal guy” and “Where are all…

Alfred Camus and the Haters

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  I get some interesting emails as a columnist and psychotherapist. Here’s one on a subject you might not expect:   Dear Michael: I’m a hater. I really hate the religious right, most Republicans  and all those Focus on the Family morons. I try to be…