Michael Dale Kimmel – www.lifebeyondtherapy | LGBT - Michael Dale Kimmel - www.lifebeyondtherapy
San Diego-based, California-licensed psychotherapist, assisting clients in achieving their goals and becoming the men and women they want to be.
San Diego Therapist, California-licensed psychotherapist,
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The Power of Growing Up

Posted by in lgbt

I see several teenagers in my private practice, and here is a (slightly modified) quote from a 14-year-old boy with a single, gay dad: I get along with my dad pretty well, but he wears clothes that are appropriate for guys my age — and…

Pride is Great: What’s Next?

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Pride is good, great stuff.  For so long the LGBT community suffered from the opposite of pride: shame.  We can congratulate ourselves on finding our pride and making it strong and solid. So now what? Out of curiosity, I Googled “pride” and was reminded that it is…

Good Boys and Bad Boys

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Recently, I’ve seen quite a few of my male clients who find that their balance is off.  The balance I am talking about the balance between excitement and safety, unpredictability and predictability…between being a “Good Boy” and a “Bad Boy”. As men – no matter how…

A psychological look at HIV

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I am sometimes asked to help facilitate workshops for people who are HIV-positive (HIV+).  As an HIV-negative (HIV-)  person, I consider this quite an honor…and I have learned A LOT in doing so. I’ve learned that, for many people, an HIV+ diagnosis feels like your world is…

Nice guys bore me

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Dear Michael: I feel like a stereotype, but it’s true: I only want men I can’t have, and then when I get them (which I usually do), I don’t want them anymore. Nice guys bore me, and I end up alone most of the time….

I just want to be normal

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Recently, I was shocked to hear a new client tell me, “I don’t want to be gay, I want to be normal.”  I have heard other clients say things like: “Gay men are such a mess, I just want a normal guy” and “Where are all…

Alfred Camus and the Haters

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  I get some interesting emails as a columnist and psychotherapist. Here’s one on a subject you might not expect:   Dear Michael: I’m a hater. I really hate the religious right, most Republicans  and all those Focus on the Family morons. I try to be…

How To Retire Happy (The R-M-O Method)

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What does it mean to retire? Let’s expand the definition beyond “to stop working”. After all, maybe our grandparents wanted to stop working entirely, and they could. Do we? Some of my clients have retired at 45, 50 or 55. Some left the military with…

Too Much Texting; Not Enough Love

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As a psychotherapist, I’ve been noticing more-and-more relationships end by texting. In all too many situations, texting is winning out over love. It’s not hard to see the appeal of texting. In an effort not to feel lonely, we text, email or call on our…