Michael Dale Kimmel – Life Beyond Therapy | LGBT - Michael Dale Kimmel - Life Beyond Therapy
San Diego-based, California-licensed psychotherapist, assisting clients in achieving their goals and becoming the men and women they want to be.
San Diego Therapist, California-licensed psychotherapist

How healthy is your relationship? Take this quiz.

Posted by in lgbt

I was recently at a workshop for therapists, and we talked about the differences between addictive love and healthy love. Addictive love isn’t really love at all; it’s about controlling the other person. Addictive love feels desperate and clingy and is more like a business…

But I like being Shallow

Posted by in Columns, lgbt

Dear Michael: I am a really shallow person and I enjoy it.  I like to spend my time focusing on fashion and movies and music and going out to clubs, going dancing and getting laid.   Most of my friends are this way too and we have…

How to Fix a Saggy Sex Life

Posted by in lgbt

Dear Doctor Kimmel: I am in a 20-year relationship that, in general, is really good. The problem is that the sex has virtually disappeared, even though we both love each other a lot.  We even went to a couple’s therapist but it didn’t do any…

Sex as Sport

Posted by in lgbt

There’s talk in the air – particularly among my 20-something LGBT clients – of “sex as sport”.  What does this mean?  From what I hear, it’s about sex as an activity, like tennis or baseball…just for fun, good for exercise…no muss, no fuss…and no emotional drama.  This is…

Fathers and Mothers

Posted by in lgbt

As we’re about halfway between Father’s Day and Mother’s Day, it feels timely to write a column addressing how our fathers and mothers affect our lives and relationships. In this column, I’d like to focus on: (1) How our Fathers and Mothers are (unconscious) models…


Posted by in lgbt

After the last Folsom Street Fair, a client said that he saw me on a list of “kink-friendly” therapists. I was intrigued, so I Googled “kink” to see how different people/groups define “kink”. The common consensus definition was: “unusual sexual behaviors or practices”. To this I…

Give yourself the gift of meditation

Posted by in lgbt

It’s trendy to meditate.  Movie stars do it, the Dalai Lama does it, even your next-door neighbor does it. But what is it? Meditation is about taking time out from your day, stopping your activities and doing nothing but being with yourself. There’s nothing mystical or…

How to have Great Sex

Posted by in lgbt

Everyone wants to have great sex, but the “ingredients” seem elusive. I’d like to suggest that great sex requires elements of both aggression and tenderness.  Some say that men have too much aggression and women too much tenderness, but that’s a stereotype; not true for many…

When you’re the “other” (wo)man

Posted by in lgbt

Dear Michael:  I’ve noticed you give good advice to people in thorny situations, so here’s another one: I went to a party and met this guy, “Tom”. He was really cute and I liked him and we flirted and kissed and before I knew it…