Pride 2018: “A moment of great urgency”

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Recently, speaking here in Southern California, former President Obama said, "This is a moment of great urgency. You are right to be concerned. The progress we have made is not a given." These are scary times. As a psychotherapist, I keep waiting for the anxiety to...

The Adam Rippon Effect

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I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how the media and most of America have embraced openly – no, defiantly – gay figure skater Adam Rippon. He’s a smart, funny, handsome proud gay man who embraces his inner “bitch” (his words) and isn’t afraid to tell it....

The Pros and Cons of Older/Younger Relationships

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In my psychotherapy practice, I often assist lesbian couples where one of the women is significantly older than her partner. Last month, one of these women asked me: “Why don’t you write a column about age differences in lesbian relationships and how to handle them?” Yesterday,...

What I learned on my Book Tour

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I’ve just finished six months as an openly gay author out there in the - overwhelmingly straight - publishing world talking about my book: “The Gay Man’s Guide to Open and Monogamous Marriage”. As a first-time author, I really had no idea what I was in...

“It’s Just One Big, Ambiguous Mess”    

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My book “The Gay Man’s Guide to Open and Monogamous Marriage” came out in June. Ever since, I have been getting new clients whose relationships are similar to the couples I talk about in the book: “if you write about it, they will come”. I’m glad,...

Body Shame? You’re Not Alone

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My queer clients have it; my straight male clients have it; my older (and you’d hope wiser) clients have it. Even I have it. A good friend of mine wants to start yoga, but, told me, “I went to the class and everyone was so skinny. I...

Hold Onto your Dreams

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When I was a child, living on a farm, the nearest daily newspaper was the Elyria (Ohio) Chronicle/Telegram. I loved reading it every day and I had a dream that someday I would be published in that august periodical. When I was about twelve, the newspaper...