Lots of people talk about love, sing about love and write about love, but haven’t you ever wondered: what exactly is “love” anyway? I recently went to a workshop where many different aspects of love were addressed and we, the participants, were encouraged to examine…
Dear Michael: I have this incredible crush on a guy from my gym. He is one of the most gorgeous guys in town. I am 45, but I have this schoolgirl crush. You know why? Because he walked by and said “Hi” to me. I could never…
“I’m so bored with him.” “The excitement’s gone”. “She’s so predictable; I know exactly what she’ll do.” Sound familiar? These statements are typical of how some of my clients describe their long-term relationships. Those of you who have never had one, pay attention: you may be able…
Are you a jealous person? What makes you jealous? Jealousy is a form of self-sabotage. It rarely helps you get what you want. Jealousy usually is a sign that something is “off” in you. Not necessarily in others; but in you. Sure, you may have…
A recent email I got sums up many people’s attitude towards this time of year: Dear Doctor Kimmel: I hate the Holidays! People are so fake and everyone competes with each other for the best gifts, best parties, best tree decorations, etc. What can I…
As Christmas nears, many of my single clients want Santa to bring them the perfect relationship and leave it under the tree (nicely-wrapped, of course). As a psychotherapist, I am happy to play cupid, but I insist on being a cupid based in reality. In…
For many of us LGBT San Diegans, winter and spring are the perfect times to go to Palm Springs: the weather is great and it’s just far enough away to feel like we’ve had an adventure. I was thinking recently of what it would be…
While I am not a member of a 12 step program, I find the 12 steps are useful for anyone struggling with an addictiion. In reality, most of us have some kind of addictive or compulsive behavior that interferes with our happiness. In his book…
For several years, people have asked me to write a column about the transgender (aka “trans”) community. As a cis male, I deferred. Instead, I asked trans friends to write something, but, no dice. Last week, a trans client said, “Why don’t you write a…
Maybe bad news does come in threes. Recently a friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer, another friend had an emergency C-section and the baby didn’t survive, and another friend is struggling with crystal meth. When things fall apart how can we comfort and…
