Michael Dale Kimmel – www.lifebeyondtherapy | LGBT - Michael Dale Kimmel - www.lifebeyondtherapy
San Diego-based, California-licensed psychotherapist, assisting clients in achieving their goals and becoming the men and women they want to be.
San Diego Therapist, California-licensed psychotherapist,
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Finding your perfect partner

Posted by in lgbt

We all have this idea of the “perfect” partner, and many of us feel disappointed and even annoyed when we don’t get him or her. A while back, I offered a workshop on this topic (“Finding Your Perfect Partner”). In this column, I’ve taken the…

The ABCs of Couples Counseling

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Over the years, many people have asked me a lot of questions about couples counseling. For this column, I’ve boiled those questions down to three, which I call the ABCs of couples counseling: A: What can it do for my partner and I (the possibilities)? B:…

The Well of Loneliness

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  As a young gay boy in small-town Ohio, I read “The Well of Loneliness”, one of the few LGBT books I could get my hands on in our miniscule (and conservative) town library. The novel – written in 1928 by British author Radcliffe Hall…

What is “Love” Anyway?

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I love working with couples: they come to me, wanting to improve their communications, work out problems between them and deepen their love. In couples’ therapy, one of the most helpful things I do is to help a couple examine their definition of love. Specifically,…

Not Out to Your Doctor?

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As an openly-gay mental health professional, I have long assumed that most LGBT folks are out to their health providers. Wrong! Recently, I was asked to present a talk to an LGBT group on the pros and cons of coming out to your doctor. I…

Top/Bottom/Versatile

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I was recently at a party where I was asked, “As a therapist, can you tell me why there are so many more bottoms than tops?” Well, some things may be eternal mysteries, but I’ll give the question my best shot. I can’t assume that…

No one’s faithful anymore

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Dear Michael: I am so disgusted with our community. It seems that nobody is faithful to their partner anymore. I was in a 10-year relationship that recently ended. I was faithful to my boyfriend and (to my knowledge) he was faithful to me. Now that…

How to have a Happy Summer

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Summers are supposed to be happy, right? Carefree, easy, laid-back…and, yet, so often, they’re not. This column is about how to make this summer one of your best ever. Let’s start with: Lower your expectations…of everyone. For example: don’t think you have to lose weight…

The Imposter Syndrome

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When you were a little kid, didn’t you look at all the hard-working grownups all around you and think, “Wow, they’re so good. I hope I can be like them some day.” And then, as an adult, you look around you and think, “Wow, we’re…

Same-Sex Divorce: How to Prevent It

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It’s easy to be excited about same-sex marriage. After all, we worked long and hard to make it happen. And, yes, we deserve to feel good about it. However, let’s look at what happens when same-sex marriage doesn’t go so well: same-sex divorce: Why do couples…